powered by SignMyGuestbook.com
Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
If you are just coming to my diary for the first time, please read my introductory entry, where I share some background that is important if you plan to follow this diary regularly.
Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
Lord, If it's a joke that You have good things in mind for me, then it's the sickest joke I ever heard. If it's true, then I am getting tired of waiting. I am tired of feeling selfish because I got hurt. I feel like a useless burden to everyone, not someone who can be a friend. I'm not good enough to be anyone's friend. I take too much from them. I can't give anything in return. Nothing that is good enough to offset what they give me. I'm more trouble than I'm worth.
I don't want to lose Colleen's friendship, but I'm afraid I already have. I've been too much trouble for her and scared her away. I'm jealous because I'm not important enough to her to spend one dinner with. I am resentful that she didn't even bother to tell me and then she would ask why I don't try to get out more? Where am I supposed to go? With whom? And the bottom line is that is not love, and I don't know how to love her. I don't know what to do to get rid of my unloving attitudes, and I don't know how to be her friend when she doesn't have any use for me as a friend. I want to say she is complaining so much about her other friends, but she wouldn't have time for them anyway because the only one she ever has time for is Jason. But that's too cruel, and I don't think it's any of my business. But She doesn't have time for me, and I DO want to be her friend. She just doesn't care.
I am a member of Lighted Path, a directory of Christian diaries.
Read my profile. This is not a comprehensive introduction, but there is some fun information there.
Visit my official site to read more of my writing:
http://www.growingstrong.org
Did you enjoy reading my diary? Feel free to share it with other people you know. Tell your friends about my diary. If you have your own site, you can link to me using the URL: http://freeinjesus.diaryland.com.
Email me directly. This is the best way to get a message to me personally and privately.
Leave me a note here at Diaryland.
powered by SignMyGuestbook.com