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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
If you are just coming to my diary for the first time, please read my introductory entry, where I share some background that is important if you plan to follow this diary regularly.
Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
How does blindness affect photos? I think it can have a profound effect. I don't know how to pose and "look natural". When I pose, I'm used to having my body manipulated into the right position, and if I move I "mess up the picture". Pictures can be a very very stressful thing for me. One of the things I want to do is have my dad come up and take a roll of pictures of me doing various things that I do every day, me in different outfits, etc.
Many blind people scoff at anything that implies an emphasis on appearance. I suspect there are a lot of reasons for this. I did this for many years, and there were a number of reasons. I have a serious distaste for makeup because I dislike having "goo" on my face. I also have memories of my mom putting it on me, like it or not, when I was a teenager. I thought she overemphasized it--if she had had her way, I would have been made up the day I went in for eye surgery (because you never know who you'll see in the waiting area). I really didn't care. I was tired; I was very hungry; and I was a grouch. What's a pretty tired grouchy face going to do for anyone? A day like that, in my mind, is a day for making my hair lay down and getting the show on the road. I'm going to come out with my make up all washed off and my eyes bleary, and I'll see as many people then.
Clothing styles are hard for me to understand. The dress I was wearing in my 7th-grade picture was one I picked out--it was actually my favorite outfit at the time. Back then mini skirts were in, and I couldn't stand them. Texture is a big factor when I'm shopping, and there are others. I just haven't identified them yet. For a long time I have felt that I was"my mother's child" in terms of fashion. I don't know how I would define myself. I need some good sighted friends to shop with. I only have one or two friends here whom I would trust to give me really good feedback, and they're both married with several kids so don't do much socializing/shopping on their own.
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