powered by SignMyGuestbook.com
Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
If you are just coming to my diary for the first time, please read my introductory entry, where I share some background that is important if you plan to follow this diary regularly.
Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
Well, it's after midnight on a Sunday night. I now enter the world of just Sarah. My weekly isolation period. No phone calls. Of course, I'm going into it kicking and screaming, and I'm sure that doesn't help my experience to be any better. But I'm somewhere on a cliff, and I'm terrified. No, not a real cliff. Just an emotional one. Somewhere between figuring out that yes, I do need to learn to enjoy time alone because it's time with God and, on the other extreme, feeling like this is a punishment for something I either did or didn't do. Somewhere between trying to be reverent and grateful on one end and wondering what kind of cruel trick this is on the other end.
I feel so incredibly cut off from life, and I feel like I should just swallow hard and walk straight ahead. But it hurts. How many times does it really need to be said? Complaining won't change anything. Let it roll like water off a duck's back. I choose to feel this way. Oh, there are probably 20 other old tapes, but you get the idea. In other words, shut up already. And don't cry about it either. Smile! In other words, if I'm crying about it, I might as well be repeating it all. Oh, there's tons of stuff I could do around here. I just don't want to. I don't want to because these are forced circumstances. That's what it comes down to. I have no control over the situation, no way to change it if I get tired of it, and that makes me already tired of it.
I am a member of Lighted Path, a directory of Christian diaries.
Read my profile. This is not a comprehensive introduction, but there is some fun information there.
Visit my official site to read more of my writing:
http://www.growingstrong.org
Did you enjoy reading my diary? Feel free to share it with other people you know. Tell your friends about my diary. If you have your own site, you can link to me using the URL: http://freeinjesus.diaryland.com.
Email me directly. This is the best way to get a message to me personally and privately.
Leave me a note here at Diaryland.
powered by SignMyGuestbook.com