Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.

If you are just coming to my diary for the first time, please read my introductory entry, where I share some background that is important if you plan to follow this diary regularly.

Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.

SARAH'S SCRIBBLINGS

May 1, 1999
11:30 p.m.

a conversation with God

"Why won't You give me understanding? Don't You see that I want to understand?"

"I do give understanding, and I give it abundantly. But it doesn't come overnight or all at once. Be quiet. Listen to me. Spend time thinking about what I've been saying, not just reading. Make some notes so that you can refer back to them later when more thoughts come to you.

"I let you hurt so that you will be able to hear me. I cannot transform what doesn't need transforming. I do not expect you to be able to put away every childish need you have in a moment, and neither will your sisters and brothers--not if they understand my ways. They will uphold you in prayer and will rejoice with you as you are transformed into the person I have purposed in my heart for you to be.

"I have called you to minister the good news to others. But you cannot do that if you do not know what the good news is for yourself. If you have never been hurt, you cannot be touched as I am with the feelings of another's pain. You cannot intercede with compassion for them if you do not understand the need for compassion yourself. I will deliver you, will free you and will send you forth and prosper you; but you must endure these trials along the way and trust in me. I cannot turn to dancing mourning which never was. I cannot wipe from your eyes tears which were never shed. I love you, my child."

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