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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
If you are just coming to my diary for the first time, please read my introductory entry, where I share some background that is important if you plan to follow this diary regularly.
Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
I was sitting in the car feeling more than just a little overwhelmed by this news of surgery. My disappointment was that I had prayed about the job in Wimberly, and I had been hired. I had felt so good about it! And now it was gone. Poof. Just like that.
I wish I knew how the pieces fit together. I wish I knew what had been planned for this summer and what was not, what is and is not part of the healing process God had in mind for me. But I don't know. I think some things may have gotten switched around. That, I have come to understand, is not the point. I pray for understanding or peace or a little of both in that area, but I will wait for that as it is given, and I know that it will be given.
The point is that no matter where I am going or what detours I end up having to take, I want to meet them to God's Glory, and I want to see His will be done.
My questioning did not stop at wondering what was originally a part of God's plan for my summer. Later I asked my mom, "Why would God have given me this job, and why would I have felt so good about it, if this was what was supposed to be the plan?"
She said, "I think this is just one of those things that happens."
I believe He wanted me in Wimberly. I also believe, however, that He moves when His plan is being interfered with. (I know I am analyzing. I can't help it. These are my personal opinions.) I said my eye hurt a lot last night, and I believe it was in response to a very active day spiritually. I gained a lot of understanding yesterday, and I am on my way to gaining more. A little interference never stopped me. So now instead of going to Wimberly I am having surgery, and I trust that God will be moving in His own precise, careful way. I heard Him promise me healing, and I will not entertain any doubts. I did not hear wrong. I know that when He speaks, He speaks the truth. My "hearing wrong" is only because I have limited Him to my own timing and specifications.
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