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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
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This is a long overdue update on week four of work. Sadly, there have been some problems and this is the last week I will be there. Some of the problems were things that could probably have been worked through, and the directors and I discussed these and were trying to give things time and work on some solutions. In that respect, this has been a good experience for me. If it weren't for the big transportation problem, I would gladly have hung on a bit longer and kept trying to work things out.
Several things contributed to the transportation problem, and a change in any one of them would have made the situation workable. I was working 3:00 to 5:30, and the paratransit was all booked from 1:00 to 3:00 and could never pick me up. In my mind it was just a bit unreasonable to go in at 12:30 when I didn't clock in until 3:00. The bus was another long ordeal, but it was something I was willing to do until I found out about the crossing between the bus stop and the daycare. The stop was directly across the street, but there was no intersection and even if there had been there are no sidewalks. I would have had to cross at my own risk, no legal protection; and I just wasn't willing to take that risk. The cab fare one way equals one hour's wages; so working only 2-1/2 hours I just didn't feel that the expense was justified, even going one way and having a family member pick me up going home. It defeated the purpose of going to work. If I had been working half days I might have been willing to sacrifice an hour's pay for the cab ride.
This was all hard for me to deal with. The other issues had me very stressed out, but I kept telling myself that in time they would resolveand I would be all right. But the transportation thing just wasn't working. Jen and Melanie (the directors) have been picking me up and bringing me in at 2:30, but that's not practical for any of us and it's far beyond reasonable. It was a temporary thing they were willing to do while I tried to work out other arrangements, but the other arrangements just were not forthcoming.
I gave my notice on Monday and agreed to finish out the week. We discussed the issues, and Melanie and Jen were very understanding, and they were both encouraging me to keep looking and said they knew that God would lead me to the right place for me. I've been so upset about all this that I have just been coming home and sleeping all the time. I haven't been doing any writing or keeping up with email or anything, and I had started to just not care. That is a bad sign, and I know it. So I spent a long time praying, especially after making the decision on Monday. Where was I going to go from here?
I had talked with someone last month about the possibility of getting into selling Usborne books. It works sort of like Mary Kay, and I think I could do really well with it. Well, she lives out of state, and yesterday she came through here on her way somewhere else and we went to lunch and talked about it. I've also considered doing Discovery toys, but I didn't have starter kit money and didn't know anyone who could help me get in. Well, I went in to work today, and what do I see? A lady is there doing a Discovery toys fund raiser for the day care! Boy, oh boy! It suddenly hit me that God knew what I could do and knew where I needed to be and when. And I've worked a month and have the money to put into a starter kit, both for Discovery and for Usborne!
Jen asked me to come in anytime I wanted and spend time with the kids, andI'm glad because I really enjoy it and I'd love to come in and be with them sometimes. I might try thinking up some volunteer things I could do once in a while, like coming to read a story or something.
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