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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
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I did something that I'm trying not to feel ashamed of this morning. I cancelled my ride. I was working on making a file of some verses I want to memorize, and a theme emerged and God started talking to me. I just didn't want to break the mood, and now even the kitties are settling down and letting me concentrate. So I'm just going with this and seeing what comes out.
I've been thinking a lot about the concept of sin, confession, etc. Sin is nothing more than something that separates me from God, and I've been committing acts that separate me from God for many years. What fascinates me is the fact that I am not pouring on the self-condemnation as I read these things. But I think that's part of the plan, the whole reason why God is supposed to be the judge and not any person!
For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-�edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before theeyes of him to whom we must give account. (Hebrews 4:12-13)
He knows it all, and He can and does search my heart and lay everything out on the table. He expects me to confront what I've done, to face reality. That's not just an admission of guilt. This is why I really liked the confession article at http://www.cloudtownsend.com/Articles/confession.htm. Confession is an acknowledgement of fact, and it leads to healing and change. It isn't just the acknowledgement of the sin. It is acknowledgement of the sin, the consequences, the root of the sin, God's love and forgiveness, God's provision for the need that caused the sin, God's healing, and God's provision for standing against trials and temptations. In most of our confessions, we never go far enough!
Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective. (James 5:16)
Yes, I coveted, and I took what belonged to someone else. I sinned against myself, other people, and God. Yes, these actions have separated me from God.
My first response to thinking these things is generally to begin heaping on the self-punishment. How awful I am! God doesn't bless people who are awful. I dug my grave, and now I have to live in it.
But is that what God wants from my response to my sin?
But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. (Isaiah 53:5-6)
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, (Romans 3:23)
Why then do I insist on punishing myself, as if I must be compared to another person? I think I often do this because I feel that I need to prove that I am "really" repentant. What is that about? That's not what it means for people to instruct or speak the truth in love. It's never about me getting back in some other person's good graces! It's about me finding the grace of God, and through that grace finding the strength to abandon the sin and put my trust in Him!
And my God will fully satisfy every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen. (Philippians 4:19-20)
The root of sin is my pride--and pride leads to all kinds of things. It leads to idolatry. It leads to attempts to meet my own needs because I thinkI know better than God how to do this. No, I have not trusted God to supply my need. In fact, at times I have even doubted His ability as well as His heart. It's time to change that.
Worse than people-pleasing, though, is my use of self-punishment as a way to "please God." That has never worked. All it does is keep me in pain, and it certainly isn't what's required to please God!
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestlyseek him. (Hebrews 11:6)
But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. (Deuteronomy 4:29)
Well, knock my socks off one more time! God doesn't want me holding my own sin over my head. He wants me focusing on Him--and not blindly or in vain either. He has a point to this. He has plans for me, and He intends to accomplish them if I will only seek Him with all my heart and believe that He really does reward those who do this!
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