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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
If you are just coming to my diary for the first time, please read my introductory entry, where I share some background that is important if you plan to follow this diary regularly.
Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
Lots of things are happening lately--at least inside my mind. I want so much to share them with someone, but our world seems to thrive on external stimulation and get overwhelmed by internal happenings. So I'm going to the journal. I used to write my journals to God... I still do, but somewhere along the way my prayers have become more of a whine than a prayer... That is changing--my prayers are becoming more mature. That doesn't mean I stop crying before the Lord or asking for things. It means that I express them differently, that my crying and asking isn't the only content of my prayer. And some of my prayers are simply acknowledgements of what He has done and is doing and what is revealed to me.
How do I know when a vision is from the Lord as opposed to just being my imagination running away with me? I think there are ways to know... Something happened today that caused me to wonder this. I thought of the common answer: that anything God reveals will be confirmed in His Word. But God's Word doesn't say things like that He will do this specific thing for this specific person. On the other hand, there are many instances where God did for people exactly what this vision seems to suggest He will do for me.
The more important question seems to be the question of what I need to do in order to see this vision come to pass. I can't make it happen on my own, but I do play a part in preparing myself for it. The rest is an issue of faith. If I have faith, then I will do these things to prepare the way for God's blessing. I'm not just talking about physical things, and interestingly those were things that came to my mind first. They usually are, but I've never seen the situation for what it is. It's a temptation to bury myself in preparing physically and ignore the things that matter most, my spiritual and emotional maturity. I went right to thinking about finding work and taking care of debts; but here I am in a place where I can afford to live and a way has been provided for me to handle my debts right now. It's time for me to decide whether I'm going to do things God's way or my way. He knows that I need more than I have right now in order to pay off my debts and to do the things He showed me in the vision. But if I am faithful with the little I have now, won't He open doors for me to have the "more" that I need? Or am I waiting around for Him to give me more before I will be faithful? That sure doesn't build into my life a habit of being faithful! And if that habit isn't built, I will not be faithful when "more" comes to me.
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http://www.growingstrong.org
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