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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
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Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
Well, the chapel service was great. Our song fit right in, and Don Collins' message was absolutely wonderful! He talked about Helen Keller and how Annie Sullivan kept working with her even when nothing seemed to sink in. She was the teacher who helped Helen to "break through the wall" that kept her from the wonderful experiences of the world around her. Then he talked about how Jesus was our way to break through the wall and experience all the things God wants us to experience: the freedom from guilt and depression. I had goose bumps almost the entire time, and I decided to keep my ed major and minor in music industry. I know that I really would like to be an Annie Sullivan, to help someone--like Franchesca--to break through the wall. Yesterday when I was at lunch with Doug I was talking about how much I want to write and arrange and sing. "I don't know if I am good enough to do that for a living," I said. "Look at all those music majors. There's no way I could ever compete with them." The truth is that I have nothing unique that stands out against them. They are all so wonderful, but so much like each other. Even if I was as good as they are, I might not be good enough because I have no unique musical gift.
I found Mike after chapel was over, and we started going to Decker to get my mail. Doug found me in the chapel lobby. "I just want to tell you that you are good enough," he said. That was enough for me. Somehow I hear that still, small voice that I am sure is God telling me that someday He will use me in the music area. But for now I will work on learning to help people break through the wall. That is enough work to do at one time.
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