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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
If you are just coming to my diary for the first time, please read my introductory entry, where I share some background that is important if you plan to follow this diary regularly.
Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
June called me today. She said she never meant to communicate that she thought I was doing "just fine". (So did she say that in a hurry, or what DID she mean?) She also said she didn't understand my thoughts on anointing. (Those are a bit hard for me to explain. I'm not sure if there is something wrong with them or not. I don't think so. It just kind of hit me one day.) She also said regarding my need for someone to stand in faith with me that everyone who is a Christian DOES. (Bang!) Am I not seeing something, or do some people avoid the subject because something like this is hard to believe in. I know I do that sometimes. (Often?)
All I want is a little peace right now--I don't care how it comes. I know God can change hearts, and I have asked Him before to take my desire away if it isn't His will. It's still here, and I don't understand what this is all about.
This is beginning to feel like punishment, and I don't know what I did. Where is the glory to God in my anger and bitterness, things that never existed two years ago? I don't know how to give that to Him, and I don't know how to ask Him to take it with any more sincerity than I have now. I am a little afraid that if I let go of my desire I might be letting go of something that is His will. On the other hand, maybe I am holding on to something that isn't.
All I know is that God is God and doesn't change, even when I don't understand.
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http://www.growingstrong.org
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