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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
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Mom, Dad, and I drove to Michigan on Thursday night. I wanted to eat a lot since I wouldn't be able to eat or drink after midnight. By the time we got to the hotel (around 1:00 AM) I was wishing I had eaten something other than fast food.
When I woke up Friday morning, I heard Mom talking about getting a Coke. It seems all I heard that day was people talkingabout drinks! I don't think she or Dad ate anything. I wanted them to eat, but at the same time I think I would have felt upset if I had known they were eating. It was bad enough that there was coffee in the waiting room where I had to sit and wait for preop.
I remember seeing Dr. Trese just before getting the anesthesia. Mom said that Dad had to leave because he couldn't deal with all the doctor talk. Maybe it was the operating room he couldn't deal with. The one thing I remember Dr. Trese saying atthat time was that there was indeed a possibility that the transplant could cause my glaucoma to become worse, but there was also a chance that it could relieve it depending on the size and shape of the new cornea. Somehow, hearing this helped me. In the past it has taken a lot of medication to get me to sleep. I think I was asleep before I had any at all this time.
The surgery began at about 6:00 PM. I woke up around 9:00. The night was fairly uneventful. A nurse kept asking if I was in pain and wanted something in my IV. I had a difficult time deciding if the uncomfortable scratchy feeling in my eye was pain or not. I finally was glad they put morphine in my IV. Within moments I didn't have a care in the world and was fast asleep.
In the morning, I got scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast. Mom had to feed me eggs because my eating hand was bandaged up with the IV in it. I didn't realize I was so hungry, and I'm sure thatbeing hungry made the food taste much better than it really was. I thought I was in heaven.
Eventually one of Dr. Trese's assistants examined me. He was very nice and friendly. I was told several times that what I would see yesterday would not be the end result and that it would be several months before my vision stabilizes. Still, it wasencouraging that I could see his hand movements yesterday. My eye was still quite painful and swollen, and I could not keep it open for long. But on the drive home, we stopped at a drug store and Dad went in to get some of my medications. I opened my eye and could see the lights at the front of the store from where I was sitting in the car. This was very encouraging to me because it was more than I could see on Thursday.
Today the pain is a little better. I am still sleeping a lot. In fact, it's taking a lot of effort just to write this entry in myjournal. My eye is watering a lot and has been since the bandage was taken off yesterday morning. It is still hard to open, but I'mnoticing that I'm kind of light-sensitive. I will have to see both Dr. Heidemann (the cornea specialist) and Dr. Trese on Tuesday--another long car ride which will undoubtedly wear me out. I have a ton of questions about things they told my mom. She is not as familiar with the terms as I am, so it was hard for me to get an idea of what they had been talking about to her. She did say that both of them seemed to feel the surgery went very well. Now I'm just keeping my prayers going that the new cornea isn't rejected. I'm to call immediately if I have sudden pain, loss of vision, or abnormal discharge from the eye.
It is now a few minutes after 9:00 PM. I've taken a tour around the house wearing my glasses. Images are still not clear, but I feel very hopeful. The bathroom is lit by two small lamps mounted on either side of the mirror. Three days ago they appearedto me as far-away specks of light--when they appeared at all. Most of the time I could not tell whether one or both were on. Today I went into the bathroom and saw a huge circle of light at the left side of the mirror.
I walked into the living room, able to see where the walls were. I reached out and pulled my dad's hair, looking right at thetop of his head. I also looked at the TV screen and could see some moving images. Actually, watching them made me feel a bit sick to my stomach.
Dr. Trese said that the gas bubble would cause things to appear distorted for a while. The swelling of the area around thecornea also may affect the appearance of things. But I have hope now that when it clears things may look very interesting.
But no one told me about the itching. I am now itching terribly, and I hope it is normal.
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