Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.

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Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.

SARAH'S SCRIBBLINGS

January 11, 1999
9:30 p.m.

the healing that lasts

Healing is not just a physical thing. A friend of mine said not long ago, "I can live a full life as a blind person." I've spent a lot of time thinking about this. Some people don't agree with this statement. After all this thinking, I do.

I suppose it all depends on how one defines "a full life". Does it mean having the same experiences that everyone else has and that those same experiences must be had in the same ways? Or does it mean having what I want? Or does it mean that what I have is good enough for me? What it means makes a difference.

The kind of healing that lasts--and benefits me most--is deep inner healing, the kind which allows me to experience a full life with or without perfect or partial vision. It is this kind of healing which I must focus on and strive for. I must learn appropriate ways of thinking about and relating to my environment and the people in it, including myself. This doesn't mean conforming to the norms of society. I've been trying to do that for a long time, and it's just not possible at all times. It means complying with some norm of my choosing which is within my abilities. The first step of the healing process for me is looking at myself in a virtual mirror and learning how to think about what I see in that mirror. That is one thing that writing in this journal is good for.

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