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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
If you are just coming to my diary for the first time, please read my introductory entry, where I share some background that is important if you plan to follow this diary regularly.
Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
I told Mom I was feeling stressed out and that I was also having some intrusive thoughts which I think are the result of meds. I changed some things about the way I was taking the meds, and this seems to have helped. But it just piles more stuff onto all the other noise. I just want to sleep until I run out of nightmares to have. I told Mom that I might be sleeping a lot for a few days and that I needed her to not assume this meant something bad. She's been trying to tell me I should get up and around more.
The depression and intrusive thoughts of suicide have been an ongoing problem since that first weekend after I came home. I've felt very restless, and I think this is why I have not written in this journal. It was my Atropine. One of the rare side effects is severe depression. Today I got the ok to stop using it unlessI started to have pain. I was told by one doctor that Atropine paralyzes the ciliary muscle, preventing spasms that can cause a lot of pain after surgery. Hopefully I will be ok. It's been almost four weeks now. In any case, perhaps I will get some much needed emotional relief and be able to focus normally on my projects, including this journal.
I am a member of Lighted Path, a directory of Christian diaries.
Read my profile. This is not a comprehensive introduction, but there is some fun information there.
Visit my official site to read more of my writing:
http://www.growingstrong.org
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