powered by SignMyGuestbook.com
Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
If you are just coming to my diary for the first time, please read my introductory entry, where I share some background that is important if you plan to follow this diary regularly.
Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
In July I was very worried about my finances. I had several hundreds of dollars in medical bills to pay off and did not have the means to pay them. I felt guilty because I was not tithing, but I overdrew my account the month I tithed and the next month the bills were even higher.
My friend, Peter, sent me the following letter.
Last night we had an insurance salesman over to discuss mortgage insurance protect on the house. We told him we would have to evaluate our finances before we made a decision. Prior to tonight, I had not looked over my finances for over two years. At least in terms of detail looking.
Tonight I listed out all of my monthly expenditures. Unfortunately it turned out that my monthly outflow was roughly two hundred dollars higher than my monthly inflow. Although I thought this to be the case before since I had to withdraw from my money market every month to break even, I never knew the exact amount until tonight.
Not only do our troubles match in this point, but when I looked to see what I could cut back on that would make any impact, the only item available was Charity. Aka tithing. I give about eight and a half percent of my net to charity every month.
So from now until I can get my credit cards down, I must stop tithing. My monthly credit card bills average two hundred dollars a month. Once I get that down to half, I should be able to start tithing again.
Like you, Sarah, I am hit hard by doing this drastic measure. Although I gave to charity before, I do so more readily now. If it makes any sense, I actually like giving every month. Maybe I am a sucker. I do not know.
What is my excuse, Sarah. What will I say to myself and to God to rid the doubt?
I have removed all of the credit cards from my possession.
I have cancelled all cards that have zero balances.
I have set a firm goal as to how much to pay on them each month, and that I will pay them off.
When I pay them off, I will only keep one and use it wisely.
The bottom line of this is that I have not stopped tithing in order to waste the income God has blessed me with. I have stopped tithing in order to remove the debt that should not be there so that I can tithe.
Sarah, you do not have the money. Pardon me for being very forward, but will God send you to hell because you did not tithe when you could not afford to tithe?
Is there a difference between not tithing when one can tithe and not tithing when one cannot?
Is there a difference between not tithing because one cannot tithe and one not correcting the situation and not tithing because one cannot tithe and one is correcting the situation?
I believe I am in a situation where I cannot tithe but I am correcting that situation.
I believe you are in a situation where you cannot tithe period until God Himself opens some financial doors for you. It is not like you have a job where income flows in every month on a regular basis.
Now, what does all of this have to do with doubt? How does doubt build faith?
Sarah, you mentioned you cannot afford to entertain doubts. None of us can when those doubts can tear us apart. However, doubts can build faith if one examines them with the Spirit of God at their side.
I regularly ask myself if Wendy and the Baha'i are right. I will try to see their point of view. Yet, when I compare their beliefs with the written Word of God, which is the Sword of the Spirit of God, I find my faith reaffirmed and stronger.
When you feel doubts or fears, Sarah, do not run away from them. But take them to the Sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God.
When I was going through torments and struggles did you not send me a very special letter? The one where God was talking to me as His son and asking me questions, and telling me how much He loved and understood.
Take a hint from a friend who cares about you and loves you. Send yourself that same letter. Read it as if you have never read it before, physically write down the answers to the questions, and breathe a sigh of relief.
Sarah, read the Sermon on the Mount when you have the chance. Check out the part where Jesus talks about worry and doubt. Then go back to Daniel and check out how Daniel dealt with the situation of being dragged off to a foreign land at the age of twelve, being castrated, etc.
Doubt can build faith if we take the doubt to God and His Word. Faith can build faith if we allow our faith to lead our feelings instead of our feelings leading our faith.
Sarah, you are a beautiful person. You have opened the Word of God to me and helped make it alive. Now, in your hour of doubt and struggle, do not forget the living breathing faith which you have showed me. Go back to those victories, those special moments, and reflect upon them. Let your doubts build your faith, and let your faith build your faith.
My reading of Isaiah and Jeremiah are still hitting me strong. God is literally crying for us to Invoke His Holy Name and to cling to Him.
Invoke His Holy Name, Sarah, and Cling to Him for dear life. We are now in the very days before the last day. It will be only true living and breathing the Faith He has given us that we will be able to continue. He is parting the sea before us. We must walk straight, looking neither right or left or back. We must walk forward on His highway, in the way of the Lord.
Sarah, although you say you are blind. I say you have more sight than I will ever have. Do not let your doubts blind you. Take them to God and let your eyes be opened wider. Trust in the Lord for it is He who delivers. He is the only one who saves. He is the only one who makes a way where there seems to be no way.
When the Apostles asked Jesus "Who then can be saved?," Jesus replied that for man everything is impossible, but for G�del all things are possible. Nothing is beyond Him, Sarah. He is not limited to save by few or by many.
Trust in Him, Sarah, and give Him your doubts and your guilts, and He will remove them. If you fear you are wrong in doing something, share it with Him, and if it is so He will help you to mend your ways. He is the Loving Father. He cares for us as no one can ever care for us. There is no one like Him. He is the way, Sarah. He is ever faithful and ever loving and He has patience and long suffering.
Talk to Him, Sarah, and tell Him your fears, your doubts, and your worries. He will ease them for you.
I was thinking last night that God answers the small prayers to teach us to have faith when faith is all our hope. He requires our money because it teaches us faithfulness to Him. All my bills are paid off now, and last Sunday my pastor preached on tithing. I was glad to give to the Lord.
I am a member of Lighted Path, a directory of Christian diaries.
Read my profile. This is not a comprehensive introduction, but there is some fun information there.
Visit my official site to read more of my writing:
http://www.growingstrong.org
Did you enjoy reading my diary? Feel free to share it with other people you know. Tell your friends about my diary. If you have your own site, you can link to me using the URL: http://freeinjesus.diaryland.com.
Email me directly. This is the best way to get a message to me personally and privately.
Leave me a note here at Diaryland.
powered by SignMyGuestbook.com