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SARAH'S SCRIBBLINGS

January 24, 1991
10:40 p.m.

regaining my footing

Today is a better day. Chapel was very good this morning. My former Bible teacher was the speaker. He talked about how we are always blaming things on demons and Satan. We do not see the real evils in the world. We don't see the separation from God that others are feeling because we are not sharing God's forgiveness and compassion. My first thought was that I hoped the other student was listening. Then I caught myself judging again. I have been saying to myself almost constantly for the last two days, "You said we should not judge. Are you living that?" I wrote her a note last night saying that I was through fighting a fight that was needless. I did admit that she had pointed out some things I should work on. I also said that I still hold to the beliefs that I brought here and that I knew she would probably hold to hers. And that's just the way it is.

I saw her today, and she didn't seem to be so mad at me. I mentioned that I thought chapel was pretty good, and she said she did, too, accept that she didn't agree with some things he said. I was not really surprised, and I know that's just the way it is. I don't want to think about that any more, though. I have no desire to point out her wrongs or my own. I believe that God has answered my prayer that He would help me to be more compassionate toward her and that he would help me to love her better. "'Love does not keep a record of wrongs,'" a lady quoted in a story I read last night. I know that God is taking away my record of wrongs, and I am glad.

I am getting a guide dog, or should I say a Seeing Eye Dog! I called my mom, of course, even though it was expensive hours. "This is worth calling you in the middle of the day," I said. "We're going to have a new family member."

"Who's pregnant?" she asked. She was serious, too.

"I am going to get a dog," I said.

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