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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
If you are just coming to my diary for the first time, please read my introductory entry, where I share some background that is important if you plan to follow this diary regularly.
Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
I have a lot of catching up to do in talking about things that have happened. I have a beautiful talk with Lou Anne while I was still at home. I know that she is among my Family. I am glad. I also know that she understands my feelings about my relationships with some of my family. That encouraged me a lot.
Friday I had a long talk with Julie. I learned a lot from it. The big thing I learned is that I believe the way I do because of what a "Christ figure" is to me. Julie said, "Jesus isn't the only one God speaks through." I can totally agree with that.
I started thinking about the verse where Jesus says, "No man comes to the Father but by me." What, exactly, does that mean? I had to think about it. What was Jesus' role, and how does he bring people to the Father? What I am getting is that the words "come to the Father" mean receiving forgiveness and therefore being drawn closer to God. Jesus IS the only one who ever had the authority as a person to forgive sins. He is the only one God has ever sent to die for others' sins. If I didn't believe this was the purpose of a "Christ figure," I wouldn't need to believe in Jesus.
Vicki and I used to read Isaiah 33, where God says that when the destroyer ceases to destroy, he will be destroyed. When I last talked to Vicki, I had been impressed to read that verse. She had also, but she was afraid. She said, "What if I am the destroyer?"
I thought about that verse the other night. Marty's whole life was wrapped up in Vicki. He did not care about God--he just used God as a means to bring Vicki back home. His control over her life destroyed her, literally in the end. When she died, Marty's life began to be destroyed. I don't know everything that has happened since then, but I believe that God used Vicki in some way to bring Marty closer to salvation. I don't know all the mechanics of that, but I do believe.It sounds cruel to say that Vicki's death was in His will, but maybe it was. In either case, God can and will still use it to accomplish His will.
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