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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
If you are just coming to my diary for the first time, please read my introductory entry, where I share some background that is important if you plan to follow this diary regularly.
Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
Last night I went for the first time in a long time to a Chi Alpha meeting. I really enjoyed the service. They have new worship songs that really reached out to me, and I found out that even though I am often feeling far away, God never forgets about me or gives up on me, and He always loves me and takes me back when I go back to Him. I wish I could describe what happened. It felt like I was welcome in spite of the fact that I felt physically lonely.
At one point I started thinking about a friend I have. We met a long time ago, and we had gotten really dependent on each other. I realized that I was proud because for once in my life someone needed me. But my pride hurt when I recognized it, and I realized that what I really wanted was a friend and that it was ok to want to make a difference in someone's life but not to want to be the center of someone's life. So I cried a lot and prayed about it. And I felt hopeful and good inside, like God could really fix all the mistakes I made and like He wasn't mad at me for making them.
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http://www.growingstrong.org
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