Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.

If you are just coming to my diary for the first time, please read my introductory entry, where I share some background that is important if you plan to follow this diary regularly.

Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.

SARAH'S SCRIBBLINGS

January 29, 2004
3:30 p.m.

revelation about forgiveness

I forgive you. I always do. I chose to love you from the very beginning. I forgave everything in advance. I don't hold things over your head. This isn't about me finding ways to hold you accountable for the past. I don't have any interest in condemning you. I want a real relationship with you that works. I want to talk to you, not just be your cheer leader. I'll provide for you forever, but I want to know you intimately. I want to be your friend.

But your past holds you accountable if you don't take steps to break patterns of behavior that separate you from me. Without making those changes, you will just continue making the same mistakes over and over. I'll forgive you over and over. But don't you want to be free of those things? Don't you want to stop holding the past over your head?

Sometimes suffering is redemptive. You asked me to make myself real to you. I'm using this situation to teach you about who I am. This situation itself is a consequence of your past sin, but I am working it together for good because I love you and have called you for a purpose: to tell others about me.

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