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SARAH'S SCRIBBLINGS

January 29, 2004
10:00 a.m.

challenging myths about emotions

I've been thinking lately about how I look at my emotions and how that affects what I do in response to them. Emotion regulation handout 2 addresses this. It presents some myths about emotion and encourages us to write out truth as a "challenge" to each myth. This is an important step in healthy emotion regulation. "regulating emotions" isn't the same thing as burying them, and for a long time that's how I treated it. I believed that negative emotions were bad.

Here's the list of myths from handout 2. It's not a complete list.

There is a right way to feel in every situation.
Letting others know that I am feeling bad is a weakness.
Negative feelings are bad and destructive.
Being emotional means being out of control.
Emotions can just happen for no reason.
Some emotions are really stupid.
All painful emotions are a result of a bad attitude.
If others don't approve of my feelings, I obviously shouldn't feel the way I do.
Other people are the best judge of how I am feeling.
Painful emotions are not really important and should be ignored.

Here's one of my challenges.

Myth: Other people are the best judge of how I am feeling.

Challenge: I'm the one who is inside my head, so I know best how I am feeling.

I also have myths about emotion from a spiritual perspective.

God wants me to be joyful at all times, so that means I should never be sad.
I shouldn't be unhappy about anything because God is probably giving me what I deserve (disciplining me).
God responds to my emotions just like people do.
I should never be angry because (a) it's not Christlike; or (b) vengeance is God's.
Negative emotions are a sign that I am selfish.
God isn't going to comfort me because how I feel is a choice I make.

Handout 5 was/is very helpful to me in confronting my myths. It helps to remember that my emotions are there for a reason and serve a purpose--sometimes more than one purpose--and that purpose is important.

EMOTIONS COMMUNICATE TO (AND INFLUENCE) OTHERS. ...

EMOTIONS ORGANIZE AND MOTIVATE ACTION. ...

EMOTIONS CAN BE SELF-VALIDATING.

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SARAH'S SCRIBBLINGS January 29, 2004 10:00 a.m. challenging myths about emotions