Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
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Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
SARAH'S SCRIBBLINGS
February 14, 1997
7:55 p.m.
ways I will respect friendships
Following are the ways I will respect my friendships. Boundaries are not things which I have seen expressed in any tangible form. I guess after I write this contract the next step I need to take is deciding exactly what to do with it, how to set these kinds of boundaries with new friends. I tend to make friends who have struggles with emotional stability, but I often do not realize that some of the new people I meet in the context of every-day life have these struggles. I don't actively seek them out. I do make a lot of friends in emotional support and/or disability- specific environments, and those friendships are important to me. I try to make other friends as well, but it seems that generally the people who are attracted to me as friends are people who are struggling. I'm not sure if this falls under birds of a feather flock together and if it does, I'm not sure how to change that. I guess to some extent I see myself as one of those people who bring others down even though that is not intentional.
- Being appreciative of friends' efforts to include me
- Thanking friends for their time with me, especially when I have needed their assistance
- Acknowledging in journal the times friends have initiated contact with me
- Praying for friends regularly
- Talking about topics of mutual interest
- Not always talking about topics related to personal problems/needs, or topics not of interest to friends
- Not always talking about topics related to friend's needs or interests which are not relevant to me
- Being honest when appropriate with them about how I am doing in both good and bad times
- Asking about and respecting their boundaries regarding personal space
- Letting them know my boundaries in terms of personal space
- Asking for assistance, reassurance, and/or support when I need it
- Being honest if I am not able to provide the things mentioned above when asked
- Recognizing that feelings of abandonment and rejection may or may not be legitimate
- Communicating openly and honestly if I am feeling hurt by the actions of friends
- Receiving such honest communication in a rational, open-minded way if and when it is provided to me by friends
- Respecting friends' confidence except when to do so would leave the friend in danger
- Providing relevant information to a friend who tries to assist me in the event that I cannot or will not seek assistance for myself
- Recognizing the limits of my ability to assist friends in times of need without feeling guilty about those limits
- Making myself available within the limits of my ability and not isolating in times of stress, fear, or pain
- Caring for myself so that I am more able to share myself with friends
- Physically
- Eating properly
- Sleeping enough
- Keeping house clean without being perfectionistic
- Spiritually
- Read Bible
- Pray
- Attend church
- Talk with or exchange letters with Christian friends
- Read stimulating books
- Emotionally
- Write in journal regularly
- Listen to music
- Participate in supportive friendships
- Exercise creativity (practice keyboard/write music)
- Acknowledge positive events in writing
- Read enjoyable books
- Study effectively
- Exercise creativity
- Read stimulating books
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