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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
If you are just coming to my diary for the first time, please read my introductory entry, where I share some background that is important if you plan to follow this diary regularly.
Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
Granny has been very peaceful since we sang. She has not seemed to have much more pain, and she has been eating and talking a little. Last night was an especially good night. I know God was--always is; this was only His reminder to me-�listening to my tears the other night.
I went in and stood by Granny's bed and touched her hand. To my GLORIOUS surprise, she held my hand! Even squeezed it a couple of times. She said, "Hi, Babe," in response to my greeting.
Then people started going out in the hall, and suddenly I was alone with her. "Granny, can I give you a hug?" I asked.
"Mm-hmm," she said.
So, being extra careful of all the tubes, I gave her a one�armed hug, still holding her hand. She squeezed my hand again. "I talked to my friend," I said, "and she said to give you a hug for her too, and she's praying for you." More squeezing.
After a while I thought I might ask if she minded if I stayed there with her and Cheryl overnight. She didn't say anything. She just squeezed my hand for a long time. Then she said she wanted me to stay.
Later Todd (the associate pastor at our church) came to visit. "Do you care if I say a prayer?" he asked.
"I care very much if he prays," Granny said.
So we prayed.
After Todd left, Granny told me, "I feel like I'm dead to the world."
I sat there with her for a while. Then I got ready to go and sleep on the other bed. "I love you, Granny."
"I love you, Granny," she said. Then she said, "I can't comprehend. Love?"
If I had been more emotional I would have cried and begged God to release her from that. But before I could think straight and realize what she had said--she has no voice inflection--she said, "I can't feel my feet."
"Do you want me to rub your feet?" I asked.
"Yes."
As I got down to her feet, the nurse came in with medicines. So I waited until she was finished. She left.
"Rub feet," Granny said.
And that is how the night ended. This morning she seemed very tired, but she was pleasant and even wanted us to sing. So Mom, Cheryl, Donna, and I sang. Gramps cried. (He needs peace so much!)
Mom was just about to leave and go down to her office when Granny said, "Leaning on the Arms. Request, request, request ..." So we sang that.
When I left I said, "I love you, Granny."
"I love you, too," she said.
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