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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
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Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
Why don't I want people to see my arm? I think it's something about the fact that my fall happened because of my lack of reflexes more than because I was blind, but people will assume it was because I didn't see Meghan. I knew she was there, and I was even trying to avoid tripping over her. My parents have done similar things--my dad fractured his ankle when he tripped over one of the dogs while getting out of the recliner. In fact, I was sitting right there and he took the same sort of sprawling fall that I did. One of my pet peeves is when people assume that an injury I have is related to blindness when it often is not. This happens a lot, and I think it's this that I'm trying to avoid. Usually I'm not this sensitive about it, and I'm not sure why I'm being so withdrawn. I went out in public with patches on my eye after surgery. I've gone out with my front tooth shattered after I knocked it out while bending over to pick up something. It's not too uncommon for me to go out with wraps on my ankles if the old injuries flare up. So what's the big deal about my arm? Maybe I'm feeling unusually vulnerable right now? To be honest, I'm disturbed by my own reaction. I'm thinking about most of the people I know at church, and they would be nice andsympathetic (and I use sympathy as a positive term). But there are a few who would see it as something to back up their pity, and that's what I can't deal with right now. For some reason that is really really turning me off right now. I'm thinking of some specific people and some specific incidents, and I'll write about them later. (Going to go lay down right now.) I think it's not so much that I don't want to be seen as it is that I need to be uplifted and comforted when I'm seen right now.
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