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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
If you are just coming to my diary for the first time, please read my introductory entry, where I share some background that is important if you plan to follow this diary regularly.
Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
I was never taught that I could not come to You, so I don't know why I am struggling with drawing near. This is why I want to read Hebrews. I know the voice that tells me I cannot come back to You is lying. I'm just struggling to overcome it.
Lord, thank You for waking me up so early this morning and for helping me to start drawing near to You. Please bless my time with You. Help me to be open so that I can hear from You.
Thank You for sending James to me and for using him to help me grow in You. I haven't written much about our relationship because I haven't written much at all. I never felt comfortable with relationships until now, and I am thankful for the peace I feel. That is why I feel that You are going to bless us with a marriage and a family.
Thank You for friends like Lori. Please bless my time with her and allow us to help each other grow.
Thank You for Rachel's friendship. I feel close to her even though we don't share fellowship with You. I have often thought that she might come to You one day. Please bless my time with her in Chicago and open doors for me to lead her to You. She needs to draw near to You and know Your love, and so do I.
Romans 4:16-22 "For this reason it depends on faith, in order that the promise may rest on grace and be guaranteed to all his descendants, not only to the adherents of the law but also to those who share the faith of Abraham (for he is the father of all of us, as it is written, 'I have made you the father of many nations')--in the presence of the God in whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist. Hoping against hope, he believed that he would become "the father of many nations," according to what was said, 'So numerous shall your descendants be.' He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was already as good as dead (for he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah's womb. No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. Therefore his faith 'was reckoned to him as righteousness.'"
Abraham never thought that he might have heard wrong. He never thought that maybe God meant something other than what He said. God gave him a promise, and He would do it.
How does this apply to me right now? I can think of a lot of situations. It applies in His promise to heal my eyes. It also applies in His promise to take care of me if I tithe.
Lord, I have been struggling so much with this area of my life! I need faith like Abraham had because I am really scared about my bills. I want to pay off everything as soon as possible. But I can't withhold money from You in order to do that.
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