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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
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I'm gonna make this kinda fast because I'm not doing very good. Very scared and jittery. I am gonna get reported for giving Elli a correction. I was taking her out, and she was about to go, and this lady was walking around across the parking lot with a dog. I knew Elli was going to run after the dog because she always does. Sure enough, she quit trying to go and started to run after the other dog. I gave her a correction and she started trying to go again. The lady started yelling about how I wasn't letting Elli go to the bathroom because I was pulling on her. Bells was all the way to the end of the leash, just like she always is. I've been taking my dog out for six years, so I think I know how to do it right. The lady kept on and on, yelling at the top of her lungs. I was real mad.
Well, she says, "I'm going to walk up those steps, and I have a dog." I said that's fine, but I also thought to myself that she's not supposed to have a dog in here anyway unless it's a service dog. I told her it was my business how I was handling my dog. She said it was her business because she's an animal lover and just because I am blind is no reason to be cruel to my dog. I tried to explain that this is a guide dog and needs to be under control. She went on and on about how the dog is doing a loving service. I told her she could report me if she wanted. I was so mad. She never ever spoke to me in a civil voice. Always yelling at the top of her lungs. She went in the building and yelled, "I WILL REPORT YOU!!!" I was crying real hard, and I needed to go inside because I could not control me or Elli any more, so I went in and she didn't get to go. I was screaming really loud. My roommate has a dog from another school, and she was really quiet. She knew something had happened because she heard all the yelling. She thought maybe someone was afraid of Elli.
I finally called the front desk of my apartments, and the workers eventually found the lady hanging around outside again. They tried to talk to her, and she kept on yelling and said she's going to report me. I took Elli back outside while they stood there, and she went and they watched and said they would talk if I needed help explaining anything. I don't even know what happens when somebody gets reported, and I'm so scared! I feel like it wouldn't matter if Elli had dragged me across the concrete. All that matters is I jerked on this poor, sweet, beautiful, generous dog and apparently I think I can get away with it because I'm blind.
I'm so hurt and angry and confused. If I knew the lady's name I'd report her for harassment or something. I feel totally helpless. What's gonna happen? Who is going to call me and what will they ask me? Will they even believe me? She is the one with the eyes. I don't want to go outside any more because I'm afraid she'll be there and do something like take my dog awayfrom me herself. I know that's really irrational, but she made me feel so intimidated! If I do go outside, I want someone to go with me and make sure everything's ok, make sure there are no yelling ladies with dogs or screaming people who think Elli's gonna attack them. I want to be a little kid and have someone hold me so I can say, "Mommy, she was mean and she hurt me," and I want Mommy to fix it.
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