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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
If you are just coming to my diary for the first time, please read my introductory entry, where I share some background that is important if you plan to follow this diary regularly.
Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
I'm so sick of it all, Lord. I really hope You're listening, and I really hope You'll have enough compassion to do something because I feel like I'm going to hit the bottom real soon.
I'm tired of begging. I'm tired of paying through the nose for a meager standard of life. I want my own place, and I want to pay for it myself. I can't even have a damn phone in my name without paying my parents $300 a month. That leaves me $200 for my $50 tithe, my $50 phone bill--oh, yes, and by the way, that is without contacting any friends--and whatever else I have to spend it on. And right now I can't go to the doctor without begging money from someone. It's not right to accept it back from my parents, and to let them buy things for me is just more dependency. I'm so tired of damn dependency. My life is a joke. I hate it, and a part of me hates You for allowing me to have to live this way. I don't want these feelings, but I have them. I'm a mooch, and nothing could be further from what I want for my life.
I am a member of Lighted Path, a directory of Christian diaries.
Read my profile. This is not a comprehensive introduction, but there is some fun information there.
Visit my official site to read more of my writing:
http://www.growingstrong.org
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