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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
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Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
I was born three months premature and have light perception in the right eye. My condition does not cause vision loss, but my doctor says that it is always possible that I could develop another condition (likely retina detachment or glaucoma) which could. Anyway, I haven't been able to see much of anything for three days. What I see is very gray and cloudy, and I am extremely light-sensitive. This, of course, is when I can see anything at all.
I went to the doctor before I came here, and he said he wanted me to have an exam under anesthesia as soon as I can come home again. It appears that over the last eight years I have lost a little bit, anyway. I used to be able to read slowly on a CCTV. I can't do that anymore. But in May I could still see quite a few things that I couldn't see before I got my glasses two and a half years ago. I had cataracts removed when I was eight, but that's a long story.
Anyway, I am not sure what's going on, and I am afraid to find out. I have used what vision I have to its fullest, and I would hate to lose it. I don't have any idea what a detached retina is like. Mine has been partially detached for as long as I can remember.
I know the physical adjustment would not be hard, since I pretty much grew up using braille and the cane and now a dog. The emotional adjustment is what is getting me. Maybe I am being pessimistic, but I can't help it. This same thing happened when I started having migraines. I was lucky then. I once knew a girl who was losing her vision. She would have periods of two to three days when she couldn't see, and she never knew if it would be the last time. That is what scares me.
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