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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
If you are just coming to my diary for the first time, please read my introductory entry, where I share some background that is important if you plan to follow this diary regularly.
Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
I'm struggling now with what I feel God is calling me to do. When I was in high school, I thought He was calling me to sing and write music. Then I thought He was calling me to be a V. H. teacher. Now I am very near Gloria Gaither, and I have started writing again. I have not felt called to be a teacher lately, so I am confused. Sometimes I think that maybe I am to use my gifts in a way that I have never considered before.
My aunt, Gayle, is opening a children's store called the Eppich Collection. One part of the store, called Sarah's Looking Glass, will have supplies for disabled children. I talked to her for a long time about this last night. "Eventually, I would like to carry your tapes," she told me. She also said that she wants me to come and do a seminar some weekend. She has hit on another dream I have had for a while, a dream of speaking to people. I realized as I was talking to her that I don't want to be Sandi Patti or even Twila Paris, who writes everything she sings. I would rather be like Gloria Gaither, if I were choosing. I want to minister through writing, both prose and lyrics. I want to touch disabled children and their families in a personal way. I want to minister to even "normal" people who are lonely and to whom no one has reached out. I am confused because I don't know where it is that I can do all of those things, and I always want to see the impact that I have on people's lives. I know that I cannot and will not always see it. I just need to trust the Lord to use me in whatever way He sees fit. I need to be able to be content with His will. But I cannot even do that on my own.
On the other hand, I talked to Mike this weekend. "Just keep blooming where you're planted," he said. I realized that where I am planted is as a freshman at Anderson University. I need to put my heart into my work and my life right here, just as Amy Gaither does.
I am a member of Lighted Path, a directory of Christian diaries.
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http://www.growingstrong.org
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