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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
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We had our "family group" for Chi Alpha this afternoon. That is a small group of us that gets together for Bible study each week. Lori is leading, and there are four other people in the group. Today one girl was talking about how she felt like girls who didn't go out a lot were lucky because a guy took advantage of her. She said that maybe God was protecting us from something bad. I've heard that about some situations before, and I believe He does that sometimes, but that doesn't make me feel any less unattractive sometimes.
Then I got really upset thinking about my sister. I made a commitment to myself and to God. Maybe in some way He helped me to honor that commitment, either by keeping me from accepting certain things some guys I knew wanted to do or by "protecting" me. Well, why didn't He keep my sister from doing what she did? Why couldn't I have been the one to have a baby? No, I don't necessarily want a baby, but I would rather that it had been me than her. She's so young! She had so much going for her!
But I know why. Because that is a consequence of her choice. I still don't like the situation, but I do (sort of) understand it.
Lynda said she and Chris went to see Gramps on Friday after his back surgery, and he said, "Well, Lynda, got any news to report?" My mom was with him on Sunday, and he said, "I wonder what 1994 will bring. It'll be interesting watching Lynda develop." I thought that was really funny. He doesn't know about the baby yet.
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