Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.

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SARAH'S SCRIBBLINGS

April 7, 1992
7:42 A.M.

an update on Granny

I'm okay this morning. I slept like a rock last night, which was great!

And this morning I picked this up.

Hi, punkin and dog.

Grannie is pretty much out of it. She opens her eyes occasionally, but it seems to be more a reflex response to noise and other stimuli and she doesn't appear to really be making eye contact. Although last night, when Cheryl asked her if her head hurt she made a slight noise. She asked her to squeeze her hand if it just hurt sometimes -- nothing. Asked her to squeeze her hand if it hurt all the time and she wanted morphine -- she squeezed immediately. We thought that was significant, but she never did it again for us. So we figure if there's no way to really know, we'd rather give it to her and keep her comfortable than to withhold it and take the chance that she's hurting badly and can't tell us. She hardly moves at all now. One of my nurse friends was telling me that there are different levels of consciousness and that one is when the patient is considered to be "obtunded" -- they may open their eyes but they are not really looking at anything, they're doing it more as an involuntary thing and are not really aware or responsive. I think that's where Grannie is now. Her eyes are very dull and have no awareness in them at all. Her swelling seems to come and go. But she seems to be sleeping a lot and breathing okay. The vaporizer must have helped that.

Love, Mom

So there's the update I wanted, without even calling or writing. Neat!

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