Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
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Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
I've never listened so hard and heard so little!
Not a word last night, or I am deaf. So I took Angi's previous advice that if it was only a feeling I wouldn't be fighting it. I decided to let whether or not I could get on a flight decide for me. I got a flight out with no problem.
Here is the confusing part. I know that if I didn't do what God wanted me to do, I would be left alone by the enemy. (Maybe it's too soon to tell.) I also believe that if God didn't want me here, He could have prevented me from coming. I am leaning toward believing that He would have prevented me from coming. I'm doing a little floundering wondering how I would know the difference.
At the same time, I think I would know. Somehow, and maybe how doesn't matter. I knew before, and I trusted that. So far I have always known, even when it wasn't clear to me. After I began to recognize that God WAS speaking to me, I have never since done the wrong thing. I am inclined to think that this doubt and questioning is an attack of some kind. Yesterday I was questioning whether I was supposed to come home. Now that I am home, I am questioning whether or not I followed the right voice. Is there a difference? I feel like I am in the dark here. Granny is the only one who could tell me;the rest of the family hardly understands where I'm coming from. And Granny can't respond at all.
Her breathing is very labored. Sometimes it's so long between breaths that we wonder if there will be a next one. She doesn't move at all. Why is this being drawn out?
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