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Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
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In July, when I was working as a dorm monitor at Camp Independence, I missed a lot of church. James said to me that ourmarriage wouldn't work if we couldn't get back into church together. It seemed like as soon as I started going back tochurch, he stopped. He's been having problems with his stomach and with his sleeping schedule. Once he went to church even though hefelt bad, and he ended up going back home. Last week both of us missed church. He missed because he had housework to do. I missed because I just decided not to go. I had a scary good feeling after I made that decision.
Yesterday his stomach was bothering him, and we prayed about church today. I was going to call him and we were going to pray together this morning. I called , and I guess he has his ringer off. I have tried not to get angry, but I am angry this time, Lord. I am angry because he doesn't seem to be fighting. He's waiting until he feels better, and that just isn't going to happen. And this is putting us right where Satan wants us.
I don't want to go to church any more than I did last week. But I know church is where You want me to be, so I am going. You can handle my feelings and desires if I will follow the directions. But this warfare is ripping up my relationship with James. Lord, if our marriage is in Your will, then You've got to help me because I'm not getting anywhere. You've got to help James to see what he's doing and what he should be doing. I know my reaction to what he's doing is not going to make a difference, but I want so much to make him get up and go with me. I can't do that, Lord, so You've got to help me because I don't know what to do or say.
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