powered by SignMyGuestbook.com
Thanks for visiting my diary. I've been journaling since 1984 and have chosen to share some of my entries online. They are not all positive thoughts, but I hope that reading them might be a blessing to someone who needs encouragement.
If you are just coming to my diary for the first time, please read my introductory entry, where I share some background that is important if you plan to follow this diary regularly.
Please also visit my music page, where you can hear samples from my debut CD, I Believe, which features songs written based on experiences shared in this journal.
Mostly what I need now is a stable friendship. I need to feel that someone really wants to be a friend to me AND for me to be one to them. I want someone to come in here looking for me because they just got some exciting news (or some bad news, if that's the case.)
That's why I like prison ministry so much. That is the one place where I can really give. I remember Dieter, the first one I talked to. He's been in there for a very long time, and I am sure he is very lonely. For the last five minutes of our time, we get in a circle and pray together. We got in our circle and held hands, and he squeezed mine. When we were done, he asked, "Are you coming back next week?"
"Yes," I said.
"I'm counting on it," he said.
Once Ron informed us in a sermon that we can live several days without food, about four days without water, about nine minutes without air, and only one second without hope. I have said so often when I felt that I couldn't go on, "Lord, there must be some sliver of hope inside me somewhere because I'm still here." Maybe--just maybe--I was giving Dieter that sliver of hope. Maybe I gave him something to look forward to in the lonely life he lives. If I can do that for one person, then my life is worth living. There is then a sliver of hope for me, something that I can look forward to in the lonely life that I lead. That is the way it is, and it is very simple. I do receive when I give. I receive a sense of fulfillment that I can never gain from anything that anyone can give me.
I am questioning so many things right now. I feel farther from God than I have ever felt before, and no one seems to care. Well, I need someone to care, and I have said that as plainly as I know how on this campus. It is not working. Don't people know that I need something from Christians, the same thing they ARE ASKING OF ME? Or does Tana have appointments at midnight? I need her now.
I am a member of Lighted Path, a directory of Christian diaries.
Read my profile. This is not a comprehensive introduction, but there is some fun information there.
Visit my official site to read more of my writing:
http://www.growingstrong.org
Did you enjoy reading my diary? Feel free to share it with other people you know. Tell your friends about my diary. If you have your own site, you can link to me using the URL: http://freeinjesus.diaryland.com.
Email me directly. This is the best way to get a message to me personally and privately.
Leave me a note here at Diaryland.
powered by SignMyGuestbook.com